As a Christian there is a negative connotation when it comes to sex. It is often portrayed as being, “Inappropriate to talk about,” or “bad” to a certain extent. I have been Christian all my life and I was taught to wait until marriage to have sex, and I did just that. It was a wonderful experience to share my entire self for the first time with my husband, who had also waited. There are many paths one can choose, but I am a huge advocate on waiting to have sex before marriage. It is a hard choice but most good things are just that, hard. I am however, still human. I have had thoughts of sex and when I was engaged, I was so in love with my fiancé that it was extremely hard to wait, but we did. My parents were very open to me about sex, and if I had any questions they would be straight forward. I also learned the intricate details of both the female and male body during my training as an Emergency Medical Technician. When I began writing I never thought that I would feel guilty when my story called for a sex scene, but I did.
Today I would like to go over a few reasons why writing sex scenes as a Christian shouldn’t make you feel guilty, how I overcame my feelings of guilt, and how you can keep your moral beliefs even if your characters don’t share the same background.
Let us start with why a sex scene shouldn’t make you feel guilty.
Sex is a normal part of life. It is a way to connect with another human being and to share the love and fondness for one another. Sex can be a great stress reliever and can help you slow down and realign your priorities with the one you love. (At least I have found it a great tool to get to know my spouse on a deeper level.) Even knowing all of that, I still had a hard time writing a sex scene for the first time in my second novel Vincent: The Race Against Fate. My Character Vincent Aralias is a 101 year old vampire, who in the first book; Vincent: The Quest for Light; Believes in Fate and an afterlife but he isn’t really considered Christian. Vampires have a long life span where they often just take on mates for a few decades and move on. With that ideal, most Vampires skip the morality of waiting for marriage.
Vincent is relatively young compared to others in the novel and he falls in love with (SPOILER ALERT) Lillian also known as Lilly.
They build up a relationship in book one and it is not until book two that they really bond and fall in love and have sex. But as a writer, I had a purpose to write a sex scene. Vincent in the first novel was tortured and broken (I was a bit evil to my character). In order for him to heal and overcome his loneliness and PTSD, he and Lilly had sex, and enjoyed each other. They built a bond and fell in love (before I destroyed their lives some more.) Both Vincent and Lilly needed that moment to overcome past trials, build a familiar connection, and have a special (almost sacred) moment to look back on before the inevitable Vampiric War that was to come.
This idea and purpose helped me push past my guilt, because for one, my characters were not guilty about it, and two I didn’t write a pornographic scene. I wrote their love for one another. The book is still being modified but here is a sneak peek of my sex scene within book two:
(Vincent had just been tortured and imprisoned for possessing the ability to walk in the day light. His fangs were brutally torn out so he couldn’t feed. The lack of blood made him hallucinate horrific events and he was honestly completely alone to endure his trials. Lilly, with the help of others, rescued him and brought him back to a rebel outpost to heal before they try to retake the castle and his right to the North American Vampire throne. He finds himself with Lilly and she comforts him and the day progresses.)
Lilly and I walked slowly to my room. She held my side but I was able to walk mostly on my own. I just wanted to be near her. She smelled sweet and reminded me of simpler times. She opened the door and shut it behind us. I held onto her until we reached the bed. I sat down and looked up at her. My hands were on her waist. She looked down at me with loving eyes but held a scrunched expression.
“What?” I asked calmly.
“I am still getting use to your eyes.” She slid her hand across my temples.
I shut my eyes feeling her soft skin against mine. I opened them again and found her face closer. She knelt and kissed my forehead, then my cheek and, at long last, my lips. She lifted her head.
“Ha!” She gleamed. “Your eyes are back to blue!” She looked into them. “Maybe you just needed to relax.” She examined them. I rolled my eyes, I didn’t care. I pulled her back to me and kissed her long and hard. I scooped her up into my arms and onto my bed. She laughed as I tickled her neck with my mouth.
“Vincent.” She smiled. “What has gotten into you?”
“I don’t know.” I felt almost primal hovering over her. I wanted her and it confused me. Was this Love, or was this a new form of Lust? I pressed my lips against hers. She was so warm and beautiful. Lilly returned the sentiment. She slid her hands up and down my back and played with my hair. I retracted my fangs, for once they were getting in my way, and I didn’t want to leave her lips. I gave her brief moments to breathe, but she was so intoxicating that I barely wanted to let up, even for a short amount of time. I pulled off my shirt and she took off hers. Her bra was blue and striped. The cups supported her breasts making them round and appealing. I kissed them gently and she looked at me. I could feel my eyes shift in color and the light from my pupils reflected in hers.
“I could get use to this.” She sighed happily. This was going to be a good night.
Then the next chapter I wrote:
We stayed in bed for most of the day. The sun warmed our bare backs. I watched Lilly sleep and tried not to laugh when she snored. The light made the blue pigment in her dark hair stand out. I slid the back of my fingers down her spine. Her skin was soft and smooth. I held onto her hot shoulder. She sighed sweetly as my cool hands relieved some of the heat. She was beginning to wake up, but she didn’t want to open her eyes. I didn’t blame her. I too wanted to stay in the moment forever. She finally stretched and pulled the blanket towards her as she turned to lay on her back. I traced her veins on her neck and arm. She smiled and slowly opened her eyes.
“Morning.” Her voice was tired but she looked well rested.
“Good morning.” The corners of my mouth turned up showing my fangs. She reached up and touched them.